I’ve worked in a few schools over the years and regardless of school type or demographic, the 6 types of teacher personalities will end up in the same department at work. They just will; it’s universal law.

They are the same everywhere you go!

Get this – I genuinely had an argument once with a woman mid-shop. I was CONVINCED I knew her from school 1. She told me it was school 2. I could see her, like actually picture her, sitting in the school 1 staffroom but she politely assured me otherwise.

Nature is funny though; we need the right environment and building blocks to create life just like we need the right conditions – the right work colleagues – for a department to be a department. Like attracts like which is why you might one day find yourself putting your beef steaks in your Aldi bag-for-life arguing with a bemused ex-colleague about who she actually is.

Who are the teacher personalities at work?

Love them or loathe them, regardless of what department you work in, you’ll always find some interesting people that you grow to love, and some you’d rather avoid.

Let’s give you the low down on the 6 work-place personalities you’ll recognise whether you are an RQT, seasoned specialist or even a cover supervisor in the making and how to deal with them.

1.The Hippie

You know, it’s not just the Art department that have new-aged alternative folk with nose rings and a Morrisons reusable paper bag they carry around as a make-shift briefcase – oh, no. The Hippie comes in all shapes, sexes and sizes. Most commonly seen in humanities wearing multicoloured (sometimes home) crocheted cardigans, the Hippie is THE person to eat your lunch next to on Monday.

Negative energy disperses when The Hippie enters the staffroom and any moan about your bottom set year 8s will be met with a sympathetic nod but an uplifting comment to make you feel like you can take on the world.

And BAM! You are saved. Just like that.

The Hippie is the one that is greatly missed when they realise that teaching sucks the life out their soul; they often leave to become sound healers or run their own yoga school in Glastonbury.

Good for:

• Sitting next to on Mondays.

Bad for:

• Gossiping about your crap classes.

2. The Newbie

It doesn’t matter if they are an NQT or new SLT, you’ll find them actually using the staffroom. Either it’s because they are indeed an NQT and they believe that’s what teachers do (we don’t; our priority is to have a wee and shovel as much of our sandwich in our mouth as we possibly can at lunch and then spending the remainder of lunch swearing into our desktops) or the new SLT has decided that they are putting into action the terrible self-help ‘boss books’ and they want to observe the staff in their relaxed state.

You can find a newbie anywhere too: a school, an office, a funeral directors. Spot one a mile off; they’ll be over-nursing a cup of tea at break with a starched shirt and a half smile that says ‘help’ without having to.

Good for:

• Making you feel like a hero when you show them how to work the photocopier.

Bad for:

• Knowing whether that third safe-guarding meeting in a half term is compulsory.

3. The Gossip

If you want the low down on how Mr P.E and Mrs History were all over each other at the work Christmas party despite them not even being there, The Gossip is your gal (or guy). Found often to have different cliques in different departments, The Gossip makes a great coffee but be warned, you’ll have to sell your soul in return for the inside info.

The false sense of security they give you makes this work place personality the most dangerous. Despite not being the best at their job, they are rarely in trouble due to their connections.

Good for:

• Finding out the ins and outs of December’s Christmas do.

Bad for:

• Moaning to about tedious department meetings; you’ll be hanged, drawn and quartered before you can say Robert Catesby.

4. The Organised Professional

There’s always one isn’t there? On the one day you get in at 7am, the toilet lights aren’t even on yet and STILL they have managed to get in before you. Their coat is off, their desktop in full whirring swing and their photocopying warm and smelling of ink as they pass you breezily with pace and purpose.

Never one to miss a deadline – they stay up all night working their magic on Y11mocks – they work smart and look smart, even at 6:15 when the meeting has run over and you’re dying for a wee and last night’s leftovers. If you want to know what students are being taken your of double French for HPV vaccinations, The Organised Professional is your man (or woman).

Good for:

• Knowing where to send that safeguarding certificate.

Bad for:

• Admitting to drinking wine during year 11 mock marking and online parents’ evening.

5. The One Who Doesn’t Give a Shit

Not to be confused with The Hippie, this work place personality is the highlight of most people’s days. Honest, down-to-earth with a bucket of humour to boot, you’ll usually find that all four other work-place personalities turn into number five once they have fewer than five years till retirement anyway.

Found often chatting to the students when they should be ordering them to tuck in their shirts, or insulting them for a laugh, The One Who Doesn’t Give a Shit is even better in department meetings.

A new agenda? Another initiative?

Leave it to this personality to say what you’re all thinking while you smile and agree like nodding dogs, silently dying inside. They pave the way like the pioneer they are so you can say what you truly feel without being labelled as being unreasonable.

Good for:

• Speeding up the meeting on Microsoft Teams.

Bad for:

• Discussing your marking technique because the do not give a shit. At all.

6. The Anxious One

The Anxious One is often confused with The Organised Professional. This is not the case. The Anxious One is often seen arriving super early but this is due to sheer panic rather calm and deliberate choice. The Anxious one is often found sitting alone at lunch with their heads in their hands and refusing any help from The Organised Professional or The Newbie with a smile that tells you that one more set of assessments and they’re mince meat anyway.

It might be tempting to help The Anxious One if you are The Newbie but steer clear; The Anxious One needs to help themselves in the end and The Newbie needs to stay fresh if they don’t want to become The Anxious One.

Good for:

• Realising that if you get to that stage, you’ll leave and find something more humane.

Bad for:

• Vibes on a Friday afternoon.

Can you apply these 6 different personalities workplace personalities to the staff in your department? And more importantly, who are you?

If you can think of any more workplace personalities, drop it in the comments at the bottom or join the forum and discuss!